the frances and judy show

Sail Away with Me.

2008-10-15T22:23:00.003-05:00

Hey y'all.

Frances has relocated.

Come hangout.

Here: francesinchicago.blogspot.com

Announcement.

2008-07-31T17:31:00.003-05:00

hello friends.

today we'd like to formally announce our departure for our sabbatical in decatur, illinios.

why decatur?

why not decatur. it's the cornfield capital of the world. we love corn. and fields.

from there, we plan on hopping on the media circuit through the quad cities, ending in in minnetonka, mn. naturally.

we'll be back.

we were never really gone.

love you,

f & j

It's Fridaaaay, Bitches

2008-06-27T09:31:00.001-05:00

happy Friday all you pyt’s.
if you are down in the dumpster,
listen to the song and let it make
you feel cool. cool like debbie
harry cool. cool like Sofia.
cool like wes’s brain and the
rodarte girls. if you are high
on life, remember a bird could
poop on your head. like it did
us. monday afternoon.

keep it real, keep it calm.
keep it strong and keep it cool.

*f

We Would

2008-06-26T09:13:00.007-05:00

Something about the structure of these Chloe heels reminds us of a toilet bowl or something bathroom-related. Yet, we would SO wear them. Think denim shorts, messy hair, white flowy shirt, or maybe just white shirtdress. Mmmmmm.....clothes crush daydream annnnd they're on sale!

*f

WHOA

2008-06-26T08:38:00.001-05:00

boner (us, not him).

*f & j

Wait, We Want These Too

2008-06-24T08:39:00.005-05:00

bag love

hat love

blog love

*f

Love & Memories

2008-06-23T12:11:00.002-05:00

Why do some songs pull on your heartstrings? Why do some songs resonate in the deepest part of your gut? They ignite flashes of memories in your brain. You remember the first time you fell off your bike. Hit your head (you were wearing a helmet) and scratched up both knees (two giant strawberries). The first time you cried over those sharp pains in your heart (you really loved him, how could you live without him??). Hugs at the visitation (why am I consoling other people? you thought). Blink of the eye lucid images appear. Your mom’s laugh. Your friends at the beach. Your visceral reaction toward tragedy: 9/11, shootings, Katrina, tsunamis, tornadoes, warfare…bursts of color. Red hues. Black smoke. Blue skies.

Maybe you can relate, maybe you can’t.

For us, music has always been profoundly personal, private, shared and deeply loved. It began with a summer of Kurt Cobain fascination (an entire summer of music video watching: Soundgarden, Blind Melon, even Snoop and Dre). Inspired crushes with each verse, notably “She Loves You” by the Beatles per a grade school chorus concert solo. Our heart soared and lept. We might have even wept a little.

We clung to DMB in high school, just like our friends. We wore only clothes from Express. Just like our friends. We secretly adored Ani, unlike most of our friends. We secretly wanted to go to art school, unlike our friends. We wore mostly black for a while, our math teacher (Algebra III, don’t ask) pegging us the “Princess of Darkness.” Rebel phase. We progressed and developed devotional crushes on classic rock. Van Morrison. The Stones. John Hiatt. The Doors. Bonded with Rick Springfield, Joan Jett, Bob Marley, Zeppelin, and Cougar Mellencamp at all our local college bars. Bonded with them more than a few of our college crushes? Definitely. Seeing as this relationship lasted longer than the inevitable 2 am last call.

Now? We breeze through hip-hop, jazz, sultry soul, and mellow indie rockers. Music ignites us, always excites us. And we love, love this song by Oren Lavie. It’s a LOT Badly Drawn Boy. A little Postal Service. A little Nick Drake. A little Hellogoodbye. A little John Mayer-ish with deeper, more poetic lyrics. It’s a resonator and definite stimulator. Lovestring-tugger and heartfelt melodic dreamweaver.

Things We Want Right Now

2008-06-23T10:58:00.006-05:00

hot one piece. yep, we're done with bikinis (for now).

cat-shaped wayfarers

lovely j.crew dress

*f & j

Jason & Colbie Foreva

2008-06-23T09:54:00.002-05:00

Are you:

*heartbroken?
*in love?
*wistful? lustful? dreamful? romantic?

you'll love this song.

*f & j

Hot Karl

2008-06-23T09:37:00.003-05:00

website love & lust

"I hate children, charity is boring, I hate to be touched"
-k. lagerfeld

oh, lord. what kind of person....what kind of robot....what kind of alien is mister lagerfeld? hahahahaha.

*f

Manic Monday

2008-06-23T09:28:00.006-05:00

website love & lust

"they suggested the manic weariness in their promise, capturing the moment whent the sheen wears off and your newfound gift becomes something more closely resembling a burden."**
-david sedaris

**we are obsessed with this quote, and the forever enjoyable d. sedaris. what a gem.

*f

Happy Monday.

2008-06-09T15:32:00.004-05:00

art love

"let us be grateful to people who make us happy. they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
-marcel proust

*f & j

It's Friday, We're in Love.

2008-06-06T08:32:00.003-05:00

Solange - I Decided Music Video

*Could be our Summer Song.
*Is our favorite new video.
*Is our favorite song right now.
*Not overly catchy, just subtly and quietly catchy= we won't get sick of it.
*We predict a nice, long summer shelf life.
*And are currently trying to learn Solange's moves in the vid. Retrosexy, vintage vixen!

*f

Daydream Beliefs

2008-05-28T10:59:00.004-05:00

&

art love

We can park the van and walk to town
Find the cheapest bottle of wine
that we could find
And talk about the road behind
how getting lost is not a waste of time.
-j.johnson

Fly Fly Away

2008-05-28T09:13:00.004-05:00

art love

life is much too short to
sit and wonder
who's gonna make the next move
and will slowly pull you under
when you've always got something
to prove? i don't want to wait
a lifetime; yours or mine,
yours or mine.
-b.harper

*f & j

Sixties-Style Sweet Scotch & Sex

2008-05-26T17:27:00.003-05:00

Get used to Duffy. She's gonna be here to stay, y'all. She's so Bridge Bardot. So old school Motown. And get this, "Mercy" is all about sexual liberty, which is such an excellent way to channel our ahem, current stage in life. Soul candy sex music. We dig.

Love & Sprinkles.

2008-05-22T10:47:00.002-05:00

hope you have a polychromatic day, y'all.

love f & j & volcom.

Laugh It Up Tuesday.

2008-05-20T16:38:00.000-05:00

love it.

Guess That Quote.

2008-05-19T10:34:00.000-05:00

"So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last days of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they're busy making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door."

How Do You Mend

2008-05-18T19:28:00.004-05:00

A broken heart?

In high school, it meant girls-only dance parties. Reassurance from our best friend, in our bathroom. As we bawled on the floor. Tears and music. Music and tears. Quieter times. Heartachey times. But it was one month at most, and any traces of pain disappeared as quickly as we changed classes. It wasn't love. But it was vulnerable, it was risky, and it was very public. And we were very private, private as ever- about relationships.

In college, it meant girls-only sleepovers. Support, hugs, and promises that we would do better. Find better. Deserved better. Late nights of drinking, dancing, and silliness to boost spirits. Encouragement to flirt. Long talks. Long walks. Tears and beers. Beers and tears. Emotional roller coaster riding together. Our friends on board, one ex-boyfriend not. An abundance of support. One empty aching heart. It wasn't love. But it was the biggest cut yet. You grow up after that. You learn how to make sure you're watching out for yourself. And then you gain your vulnerability, and your heart back...slowly...and with one false step after the next, 'til you gain your head back too.

And then you lose it again. You realize there's something better out there, something closer to the real you. And you fall, and you fall, and you fall out of touch with reality. You let yourself get swept away. It's better than anything you've ever felt before. And when it starts breaking down, it's worse than anything you're ever felt before. We get older, and it ALL gets harder. It just does. You're intertwined. You're connected. You're close enough to predict thoughts and what that person will say next. And so add that all up and you're broken. Your heart burns and aches and feels so lonely with emptiness. You're done smiling for a while. You seem more serious, you are more serious. You're sad enough to cry once a day and your stomach feels like it's rejecting you, or anything that might come it's way. You're a walking, bleeding cut trying to keep up with appearances, by bandaging up the outsides. You wonder how this sort of heartbreak ends. And for the first time you don't know if it will. And you haven't the faintest idea how, or where to begin.

The first cut is not the deepest.

*f

The Guiltiest.

2008-05-15T08:37:00.003-05:00

of guilty pleasures. but we LOVE it. secretly. it's ON the summer mix!

thirteen years old forever and always,
*f

Ask Fran.

2008-05-15T08:05:00.001-05:00

Stinkbomb in Seattle said:

I work a corp. job, and I sit in a quad of cubicles with only men. 3 against 1 is something I hear more as an adult then I did when I was 10 (and trust me that is a lot). Anyway, the question is regarding farts and lots of them! Some or all of them fart all day long and every single time I say “Eeewwwwweee who farted!” and every single time they all act like they:

1) can't smell it and
2) that it wasn't them ("I can smell it, but it wasn't me!")

What should I do? Please don't suggest that I start letting them rip because I won't do that!

-Stinkbomb in Seattle

Dear Stinkbomb,

My first instinct was to say 1) whoopee cushions 2) nose plugs or 3) bean burritos every day, for a week. But alas, I shall respect your reluctance to be the Pepe le Pew girl.

Instead, what I suggest doing is bringing in all the scents, room fresheners, candles, home fragrances, and perfumes you can find- and turn your cubicle into a veritable Bath & Body Works. It will a) ward them off for fear of becoming ensconced with a perma-Country Apple or Sun-Ripened Raspberry scent b) ward off the stinky c) embolden you to follow all your other pursuits; be it lunchtime wine chugging, beer bottle and whiskey guzzling or good ‘ol fashioned desktop dancin’ and shake your ass puzzling.

However: if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

-fran

Summer is Sexy.

2008-05-14T09:36:00.001-05:00

and we are ready for it. play this song and picture yourself in your summer dress, big floppy hat and sunglasses and nice tall glass of vodka lemonade. or whatever your dream summer vision of yourself may be!

*f

A Wednesday Whateva.

2008-05-14T08:53:00.001-05:00

We don’t wanna play by the rules.
We want a pet bear that duals
As a keyboardist, guitarist,
And non-judgemental friend.
He will sit and drink with us,
Tell tall tales and pretend.
We might smoke a joint together,
Or perhaps do a fun drug.
We will listen to music together
Knit mittens, cut a rug.
We will be the best of friends,
Us and the bear.
He will give us a five with his paw,
And the best bear hug anywhere.

*f

Ask Fran.

2008-05-13T13:02:00.000-05:00

Anonymous Annie said:

Dear Fran,

Sometimes I feel like it's Funky Friday but then I realize it's Monday or even Wednesday mid-afternoon. What do I do about the fact that I don't like my job, miss my friends and eat shit like it's good for me and isn't actually accumulating on my hips?

Dear Anonymous Annie,

I thought it over really long and hard for a second and I think I’ve solved it. Samantha, I really think you should stop eating shit. I truly believe you will make more friends if you stop your repulsive behavior. Your breath must smell horrendous. Miranda, your shit does in fact stink. Because other than that, you sound really exciting!!! You have great enthusiasm (i.e. “Funky Friday”). Another question for you, Marlena. You signed off as “Anonymous” which led me to wonder something….do your friends even know that you miss them? You have to stop calling them and hanging up! That’s creepy and so 90’s “Scream” the movie. Furthermore stop calling them and being like “Hey Lulu, it’s Virginia, how are you?” just because you want to remain “Anonymous.” Lulu has no idea who the eff Virginia is, and I just really think it’s time for you to reveal yourself, Jessica. Also, quit the job. If you don’t like it, don’t let that be the one thing dictating your life. Or your overall happiness.

-fran

In & Out.

2008-05-13T12:44:00.002-05:00

OBSESSED with this song right now.

Seriously. We could cry a little each time we hear it? Is that normal? What is normal??? We also cried yesterday because a) we were finishing our most recent book and b) one of the characters fucking died in it! Life and literary surprises are just not fair sometimes!

Q of D from Jennifer Weiner's latest:

"Everyone has sorrow. Everyone has obligations. Everyone keeps going. You lean on the people who love you. You do the best you can, and you keep going."

which definitely reminds us of a certain Disney fellow, but we love it nonetheless.

cry a little if you need to, but not too much,

*f

Got a Problem?

2008-05-12T18:14:00.003-05:00

ask fran!

Ask Fran

2008-05-10T22:34:00.005-05:00

Awkward Alice said:

Dear Frances,

This is a talk show, so play Oprah and show us the way.When we meet new people or encounter friends of yesteryear, we frequently freeze up, pause and blurt out non sequiturs that ensure all parties feel awkwardly ill at ease and cause unnecessary forehead sweat. Recently upon seeing an old friend with his newish gf, within the first five minutes of convo and while they were in the midst of rattling off a story we were clearly on the outside of, we near-shouted in a boozy voice, 'do you two live together?!' They didn't, looked at each other awkwardly then shifted their eyes uneasily away, and in the silence we hiccupped and dropped our purse. In the future, how can we avoid this behavior?

dear awkward alice,

i found it no stretch of the imagination or fair coincidence that your pen name abbreviates to "AA" and that you described yourself both as "boozy" and "hiccupping" during said conversation. alice, you are obviously a sex addict.

what you need to do from here, is take a step back and consult http://www.a-jokes.com/sex.htm. so that the next time you see the couple, instead of getting intoxicatingly flustered and muttering something strange and awkward- mutter something RIDICULOUSLY strange and awkward* and ensure that the thing you initially said seems so much more miniscule in proportion, that the couple forgets about how weird it was altogether. then, go home and get some ass.

*this i just one possible example: A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

-fran

Ask Fran.

2008-05-10T22:07:00.006-05:00

dear awkward alice,

i'm glad you asked. first, let me tell you a few things about myself. i am fran, queen of advice giving. yet i am neither futuristically gifted from above, nor presently gifted with making decisions below.
actually, quite the opposite.

i am queen of messy breakups that seemingly never end. queen of bumping cars and overindulging in bars. queen of nothing that is ever certain, in fact- i truly believe that the more you live, the less you know.

but with that being said let me tell you another thing. i make my decisions like the breeze hits the wind. she finds it, they float by, and they never rethink it again. because at the end of the day, you just gotta do what floats your boat and not give a rat, sheep, or goat's ass what frank, sally, larry, or jerry has to say about it.

so ultimately i say, go out drinking all night long. go to mexico for a week, with a guy named john. that you just met on a plane, coming back from atlanta. where you stayed with your boyfriend who sucks and drinks fanta. elope to vegas. go to jail once or twice. eat cupcakes after sex. try to find a pot of gold. when that doesn't work, come visit me and do what you're told.

insert a dollar here, i'll give you my two cents.

kapeesh?

-fran

The D Stage

2008-05-10T20:00:00.003-05:00

"dating is worse then the six years we had braces."

love frances

We're Famous

2008-05-09T13:02:00.001-05:00

Bowler Hat art party. Chicago. We whiskied 'round the room, taking in the pretty pieces and the strange artists and the fabulosity DJ duo and even donned a bowler hat for the occasion.

We chatted up Mr. Bizarro in the top pic with our sista and marveled at the different sorts that perused the party rounds in this here town. Us in flip-flops and rained-on hair, them in sparkly gowns and black ties.

What a night, what a town. We think we'll always feel more comfortable with movie nights and good friends, but what the hey. It's good to test your comfort zone, eh, moonpies?

*j

We Heart Baking Soda.

2008-05-09T12:21:00.006-05:00

Why do we heart baking soda, you ask?
Or maybe you really thinking, how do I get my
grubby little hands on one of those delicious
looking cupcake cones? Well, for starters, you can't .
It's just a picture, numskull. But you could try to
make them. Using baking soda and other stuff.
But look what else baking soda can do before
you start making huge chocolatey confectionary
confections and gobbling them down like the greedy
little goblin hobbit you are.

BAKING SODA CAN! (do all these things):

*In your dishwasher it deodorizes and cleans inside.
*As a paste it cleans smudges on wall paper and shines porcelain, jewelry and coins.
*On bee stings it lessons the pain and it’s an emollient for softer, smoother skin.
*For pets use 2 tablespoons in bathwater as shampoo. In cold weather use in powder form as a dry shampoo. Either way it adds softness and luster to their coat. Sprinkle it on carpeting to remove pet odors too.
*Make a paste to clean silver, add lemon juice to clean copper pots.
*Put it in water to make an antacid for indigestion.
*Its deodorizing ability in powder form is also legendary for your car and in smelly sneakers.
*Got a clogged drain? Mix one cup of baking soda with a cup of salt and a cup of vinegar; pour it in your drain *followed by boiling water.
*Three-parts baking soda in one-part water foams away acid build up on battery terminals.
*Trouble getting on rubber gloves? Just sprinkle in some baking soda and they’ll slip right on.

-f

Happy Friday Deers.

2008-05-09T08:44:00.002-05:00

we love it when you call us big papa.
throw your hands in the air
like you a straight deer (de-ahh).
get down and dance tonight.
it's friday night, alright alright.
something's bought to change.
everything is happenin'.
grap your crew and brew
and get things crackle acklin'.

*f

Happy Thursday

2008-05-08T14:48:00.000-05:00

"It's spring fever... You don't quite know what it is you DO want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!"

-S. Clemens

Rainy Day Deary

2008-05-08T14:20:00.002-05:00

photo love

Dear Frances,

This is a talk show, so play Oprah and show us the way.

When we meet new people or encounter friends of yesteryear, we frequently freeze up, pause and blurt out non sequiturs that ensure all parties feel awkwardly ill at ease and cause unnecessary forehead sweat. Recently upon seeing an old friend with his newish gf, within the first five minutes of convo and while they were in the midst of rattling off a story we were clearly on the outside of, we near-shouted in a boozy voice, 'do you two live together?!' They didn't, looked at each other awkwardly then shifted their eyes uneasily away, and in the silence we hiccupped and dropped our purse.

In the future, how can we avoid this behavior?

Kisses and Champy,
Awkward Alice

*j

Holy Yum.

2008-05-08T09:22:00.003-05:00

omfg.

thanks trashbag, for this one. this couple couldn't be any more gorge.

*f

A Nice Place to Think.

2008-05-08T08:57:00.006-05:00

Convention isn't the only invention, eh? We would so love to take hot steamy baths in that black room. With flutes of champagne. And Tom Brady.

*f

This Year's Love

2008-05-08T08:19:00.005-05:00

"Maybe that’s what they should be selling in the
fairytales. That we all have the capacity to fall
in love over and over again. That’s much more
beautiful..."

-Jude

a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down*

thanks jude for your charismatic wizardry.

-f

*by sugar we mean whiskey and beer

It's Not. It's Just Not.

2008-05-08T00:29:00.004-05:00

life is not a dress rehearsal.
life is not a dress rehearsal.
LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL.

we just figured this out. it took us 24 years, but
this is fuckin' it, man. oh, and we realized this too,
recently. we realized that we don't know much, but
we know this much is true: all you need to be happy
is champagne flowers cupcakes dresses sex girl-
friends puppies and good hair.

the end.

champagne is the new black,
*f

YUM.

2008-05-07T14:01:00.004-05:00

product love via swissmiss

Ummm.... does anyone else want this lovely little invention??

Sometimes we think we'll always be a chubby little 13-year-old, scraping the bottom of the dip bowl when we thought no one was looking.

Old School Soul Candy

2008-05-07T09:36:00.002-05:00

Childhood chart, compliments of Ian.

Click to enlarge, and proceed to nod in agreement. Fabu.

*j

Panties in a Bunch.

2008-05-06T21:37:00.002-05:00

Get your panties bunched up over The Hard Lessons. They were recently written up, in an article entitled "Vampire Who?" Hehe. If you're mad happy sappy boring blank or fucked up this music will still sound like...fun dance goldness. Seeing them live was like seeing sight for the first time we viewed it. It was literally like hearing the taste of the scent of a sight for the very first time we felt it. We were definitely bunched. Detroit Rock City muthafucka!

*f

Our Other Job.

2008-05-06T21:23:00.002-05:00

alas

you were born

to have a

fabulous

challenging

ribald

sexy as hell life.

fuck 'em up.

A Tuesday Truth

2008-05-06T13:10:00.004-05:00

cartoon love, via the lovely vega

Ummmm.... yes.

Color Me Happy

2008-05-06T11:35:00.000-05:00

photo love

art love

NEEDED

art love

SOME COLOR

photo love

UP IN HERE.

Bouncing Man

2008-05-06T10:22:00.002-05:00

Courtesy of VSL, we stumbled upon this darling love letter of a music video. Watch it, even if it must be on silent due to work side effects. A bouncing man greets the morning. Just watch. We dare you not to smile.

Good day and good luck, merry poppits. We adore youuuus...

We Dig Music

2008-05-06T08:28:00.004-05:00

photo love

And we lurrve new music. Discovering that new band with that new sound shedding their new souls. Just for us and only for our ears. Them and us, us and them. The song was written for us and we can't stop tapping our toes on the morning train.

So yes. We adore new music, and all that it encompasses.

But ya know what else we love? Songs we know by heart. Songs that take us back to dancing on our daddio's feet around the old green living room at 406 W. 12th St.

So for your listening pleasure, if you ever feel like hearing a good ol' song or two or twelve, a mix for your morning is below. Simply click and listen. Right here in River City...

http://doctormukaka.muxtape.com/

Messy Thrilling Life

2008-05-05T15:26:00.001-05:00

photo love, via cup of jo

We. Love. This. Photo.

It calms.

It breathes easy.

It represents all that is not loneliness.

And we know that that last sentence doesn't really make sense, and we know that we don't always really never know what we're talking about, but it still feels good to put it out there, put it all out there in full heart and breath and moment.

We feel tired and a little meloncholy today, and we're not going to re-spell melancholy with the 'a' because we just don't want to, and because it's okay to misspell and misread and mess up. Often and a lot, again and again. We spilled our coffee on the way to work today, after sleeping in but before second-guessing ourselves. It happens. Some days you brush it off and giggle, other days you look down with a frown.

We referenced Messy Thrilling Life this weekend, quite the book of all girly books. And sometimes - okay all the time - we feel that that title is our title, the lead of our story that says it all before anything's been written. If you haven't, go check out that book, dearies. It's a page-turner and a heart-sweller.

And that's all for now. But know this: we. love. this. photo. And at the end of the day, we can look about and think, what a wonderful world we live in.

Happy Monday, maniac magees.

Ditty for a Monday

2008-05-05T13:11:00.002-05:00

And here we are now. Sometimes on a craptastic day the only thing that makes us feel better is a Diet Coke. Or a bag of chips. Or a pretty poem.

But usually just the right ditty can do the trick.

We're growing up. We're living. We're learning. We're doing all the stuff that makes up cliches and movie climaxes and purple passages in chick lit novels and reality TV.

Soak it in, soak it in. This is us.

Wheel of Fortune

2008-04-28T19:16:00.005-05:00

danae diaz is the shit.

this lass puts the 'c' in class, and makes us wanna hip, holla, and spit. the way she uses black, white, and red is so spanish and excellent! we wanna draw and paint and make images this fuggin' sexcellent.

and while we're at it, do you ever get that urge? the urge to dump everything you're doing, scale back, and purge? not like in that way, but in like getting back to the basics. throw out your tv set and paint a few faces. or puppies or bunnies or your great uncle Theodore. or grandmas with slippers or the Roosevelt, Eleanor.

well we sure do. so we keep this quote in our room. to remind us to rewind us and think, dare, and bloom:

"i want to create something brilliant genius never done before beautiful crazy and new something totally avante garde"

or something to that effect, at this very moment we just can't remember. but you get the gist, just take it, spin it, give it your twist (be the next tupac).*

*life's a wheel of fortune, and it's my turn to spin it.

-tupac

xxf

Drink Champagne Everyday.

2008-04-28T10:42:00.001-05:00

because everyday is a celebration!

*f & j

Chew On This.

2008-04-22T18:45:00.001-05:00

you say: "write more I am bored"

we say: can't right now (THE F#*$ING RECESSION!!!)

oh lord.

we sigh, we slouch, we eat only bread and butter.
we stretch, we groan, we are going quite nutter.
the gas bills' due.
our rents' too f$*#ing high.
we'd like to booze and sit pretty
all day long...
under the bloomy Chicago sky...
but we can't
and we won't
not till things are taken care of.

'cause we are woebegone over job woes.
and we wrestle with pathless job fauxs'
and we need a hair change.
and a breath mint.

we've got a case of the snifflin' sneezies
and a pasty white lack of tan-ness.
(you can add 'ness' to anything)
and we're worried about the middle east.
we're worried about the warming trend.
we're worried about our grandpa
and our papa and the happiness
of all women, kids, puppies, and men.

and for those that struggle and grapple
for help and for those that need a boost
or a hug and lay in grief on the bathroom
rug. we worry we worry. and mostly we
scurry around in the minutiae of
everyday hurry.

so you see, we have littler time to write.
obviously no time to vent. or stare.
or wonder what in sweet gravy we should
do next in this atmosphere.

but we will be back, all in good time.
if our words were dollars, we'd be
pretty damn fine.
just stick with us like harold and
kumar. like snoop and dre. rob and
big. you get the picture....coming soon
our radio show: peg, frances, & pretty little skib.**

*f & j

**does anyone know anyone in radio. seriously.

Love You No Shit

2008-04-22T08:35:00.004-05:00

(fast-forward to 1:30 to get things going) This vid's for you, Frank.

Sometimes things don't work out. You don't get the job, the guy's not a fit, the CD you bought really only has two solid songs on it, which you could've bought for for $1.99 instead of $5 for each good song.

But that's okay, and you have to know it's okay. Alexander was right. Some days are no good and very bad and beyond. But Annie was oh so right and righteous and above and beyond. So keep waking up for a fresh start, a tabula rasa, a new world, and all that jazz. Eat cupcakes for breakfast and sip champagne here and there throughout your rough and tumble day. Because we don't just say that stuff, we abide by it.* When life gives you crap, get through it, remember to like yourself, and try to laugh when dogs poop. Because that is seriously hilarious.

*Not that we're tipsy the whole time. Geez, get your minds outta the gutters, bellas.

End of Ze World.

2008-04-13T19:38:00.003-05:00

All we need to know we learned from YouTube.

Have a laugh, it's the beginning of the week.
Have a laugh, put it on repeat.
Sometimes Mondays we feel like a bitch.
Sometimes Mondays we are like the western witch.
But ya gotta suck it up and get over the hump.
Eat your turkey sandwich and stop being a grump.

*f & j

Crank It.

2008-04-13T19:22:00.004-05:00

Don't you love stuff that just makes ya laugh instantly?

Not for a solid reason, just 'cuz?

For us, it can be a photo.

Or, a ridiculous song.

Crank it bitch.

Ode to The Odd.

2008-04-10T17:30:00.004-05:00

don't you think

that life is too short

to deny the fact

that you like dad music

and you prefer mom jeans

and you still wear lip

smackers and you still listen

to ani difranco sometimes

and you still have a silly bubble in

your head that says white

horse handsome prince

fairy tale happily ever after?

we do.

oh, and don't you think it's too short not to wear ridiculous shoes, tattoo yourself if ya wanna, and drink one too many mimosas?

we do.

dye your hair green.

wear a nose ring (fake or real).

pretend you're tabloid fodder.

get drunk, marry an otter.

just don't live small.

don't live scared.

join a colony, start a club.

jump into bed with a stranger.

(but make sure no bedbugs).

*f & j

KANSAS.

2008-04-08T20:31:00.001-05:00

we love you.

rock chalk.
f &j

WTF.

2008-04-07T08:10:00.000-05:00

WHAT ever happened to Bugles?

*f

This is Disgusting.

2008-03-31T12:24:00.003-05:00

Beastie Boys & The Beatles? Remixed by dj BC? Buy it, buy it, buy it.

Sleep To Dream.

2008-03-27T10:43:00.002-05:00

last night, before bed we painted a chandelier over our dear's head. we put bunny heads and jewels on this silhouette. we put a four leaf clover to give him good luck, a hibiscus to stay tropical, a heart instead of a signature, a star from the night sky, and as many diamonds as we hope to have at some point in our life! very seussical looking, no?

Springter

2008-03-26T14:21:00.004-05:00

can we just be very clear about something.

crystal clear. pepsi clear. beverly cleary.

WE ARE CONFUSED.

you know why, don't you.

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW

whether it's mitten weather.

leather boot weather.

sunny with gusts up to 2000 mph.

or breezy with a side of tornadoes.

everyday lately, we go out with our cheetah

fur mittens on (FAKE) and our triple-lined

waterproof weatherproof 'skimo coat

and we come back just glistening and ready

to jump in the lake! where is the how-to

people, where is it?? or of course the

opposite happens. we go out sans coat

when we spot the sun and lo and becold

we came back with icicles for teeth

and snow cones for boobs. and sometimes

we wanna lay down and retire by the fire

but we don't have a fire. just candles.

WE ARE NOT FINISHED.

because let us tell you something else

we are confused about.

WE ARE LOOKING FOR A JOB.

but not just any job.

ONE THAT DOESN'T SUCK.

and furthermore

ONE THAT DOESN'T HAVE A BOSS

OR REQUIRE TIMELINESS

OR MAKE US FILE OR COPY THINGS.

and it's hard to find but another

thing we find is hard is find, we

just can't

won't

refuse

to work

in a building

that is ugly

or gray on the interior

or without windows

and it presents a problem that buildings

such as the one below literally prevent

us from ever considering a job

that may be magic flowers and pineapple

cakes and peace signs, the whole bit.

what to do! jump ship, join the navy?

teach spanglish?

invent?

ugh!

Hope Floats Eternal.

2008-03-26T13:48:00.006-05:00

joie de vivre (from the French joie, "joy"; de, "of"; vivre, "to live, living"; "the joy of living") is a term used to express a cheerful enjoyment of life. joie de vivre, as one scholar has written, "can be a joy of conversation, joy of eating, joy of anything one might do...and joie de vivre may be seen as a joy of everything, a comprehensive joy, a philosophy of life, a Weltanschauung. robert's dictionnaire says joie is sentiment exaltant ressenti par toute la conscience, that is, involving one's whole being."

Sally Struthers Pooped Her Pants.

2008-03-25T09:19:00.006-05:00

Cheeseburger

Fries

And a Shake (click here).

Spring Chiggen.

2008-03-24T15:32:00.003-05:00

happy post-easter day y'all.

hope yours was good, warm, and cluttered

with folks that matter the most and somewhat

soaked in day drinks and toast on the balcony

or in a home that is warm and charming.

ours was pleasant and kind and easy unwind

style. church in the city was jazzy and pretty

and even the homeless were there to share

in some sort of big unified lack of divide.

but sometimes we miss the glitter and mist

of egg design and all of that vinegar.

so this year we bought a stuffed chick

to cuddle in bed, flowers for ourselves

and two friends, and ate chocolate

bunnies 'till late into the night!

hoppy spring!

Shoes=Sex.

2008-03-24T12:04:00.003-05:00

They just do.

It's true.

And sometimes we wish we were the shortest midgeling in the jungle so that we could put these on our tootsies and say sayonara to being anything close to average!

Road Trippin'

2008-03-21T10:29:00.002-05:00

Dear gals, pals, males, and tails:

It tis us, Benny and the Jets. Turner and Hootch. Betty and Wilma. J. Lo's twin babies. Frances and Judy!

We love you we love you we love you, but we have hit the road. FOR SPRING BREAK!

Be back later y'all. Gone to get some sun, drink the vodka, and drive around with our feetsies in the air and flowers in our hair.

TTYL!

*f & j

Trouble Right Here! In Second City.

2008-03-06T20:42:00.004-06:00

Where: Roscoe's in Boystown
Why: Bachelorette Party Extravaganza for the Carebear
When: Last Saturday night
What: dancin' boozin' laughin' dancin' improv

The night was clear. Cold dark and happy. We sipped on our beers. Slipped down our shots. Bellies full of laughter and suds...we were carefree, celebratin' Carrie, and fear? No, no. We did not.

But along came a spider, a short stocky venomous type. He said "we were trouble" and to get out of sight! Fran hawed, Jude withdrew. This man bouncer (no bigger than a thimble) what this man Thumbelina saying....was it true? And as the night was coming to an end, Jude and Fran got kicked out of a gay bar, for displaying too much "tude." Fran thought "Well this is just rude! We will talk to the manager, he will be more subdued!" But the manager was rude too and more or less big and scary. So we hailed for a cab instead, went home and watched Chuck & Larry*.

*well that part is not true. but it made a nice rhyme. we think we should think the following, and then never reconsider it more (for analyzing too much can be such a snore). Isn't too much 'tude in a gay bar an oxymoron?

-f

Frances & Judy, M.D.

2008-03-06T19:16:00.005-06:00

art love

Greetings, from the feature office of Dr. and Missus Frances Judith Merriweather Poppins.

No, we're not married. We're the medical term most closest to being unidentical untwins. And the point remains that we think, act, live, and breathe in the imaginary. If we fall down and get scraped up, our blood runs in rainbow colored ziggles. We like words. Colors. Stories. A fantasy-based reality. We like music. Art. Quotable quotes and laughable anecdotes. We like dreaming by starlight and dreaming by daylight. We like painting pretty pictures. In thought, word and by hand. By land or by sea. That's where we belong, that's where we'll be.

So without further adieu and after Saturday night daisy vodka brews, we realized what we would do.

We would get our PhD in Creative.

We hear of PhD's in Philosophy. Psychology. And with meds. What don't we start a revolution and get our doctorate in shakin' out what's in our left brained heads?

Are you interested too? Let's start a petish. Let's huddle at coffee shops and talk, drink, and dish. We'll come up with a plan that makes us big bucks. We'll be scholars and pathpavers, a wild unruly fratty bunch.

Other jobs are jest soy milk bizzzzoringggg!

*f

2008-03-05T21:52:00.004-06:00

art love

at one point

you didn't know how to swim

at one point

you didn't know what school

would be like

at one point

you didn't know what falling in love

would feel like

hurt like

at one point

you didn't know what would happen

when you were leaving or going or

staying or moving

but you did it

you faced it

you made it

you adapted

in your own way

you can dive in

again and again

and again and

again.

(and for some reason this helps us!)

Chicago In Our Soul.

2008-03-05T21:22:00.005-06:00

being around different ideas & people & change & variety is beautiful & refreshing- isn't it?

This One Thing Is True.

2008-03-05T13:47:00.003-06:00

Today, if nothing else we ask you to remember to dream big, act small, live large, and never listen to anyone else's advice. You are your own can of worms. Today, if nothing else go forth into the night carrying a big stick and remember that two cats in one cradle sure as heck don't equal life on a silver platter. Don't put the cart before the horse, y'all. If nothing else, today medicate if you must, sweep issues and dust bunnies under the rug, blame your shortcomings on others, and make a big sloppy sandwich that makes you laugh and laugh and laugh. Afterall, you are the cat's pajamas. The golden ticket. And the cream of the crop, in your own eyes.

Lovingly,

Q of the D

2008-02-29T11:04:00.006-06:00

photo love

"You are 27 or 28, right? It is very tough to live at that age. When nothing is sure. I have sympathy with you."

-Haruki Murakami

This haunts us. And comforts us. It's welcoming to be understood, but uninteresting to be so transparent that a writer can peg us in one swish of his pen.

We need a hot dog, stat. Hot Doug's, anyone?

To Know is To Love.

2008-02-28T13:18:00.007-06:00

if this woman isn't the most beautiful thing you see today, then you must have seen something else really really really beautiful and fantastic, also who doesn't want to their room to float so ethereally across a pond every once in a while dreaming up new realizations in gloriously happy way? and then dance with your jammin' carnie friends? plus this song reminds us so much of our dear friend lulu and her solid gold heart and spirit. TD4 ya'll, we're OBSESSED with Yael- what a gal! Wethink she speaks in a rainbow gypsy tongue and we like, we like. Ya can't force the folkie out of folks, their cups just runneth over with magical elixir lyrics and melodies! Bellisimo.

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.

2008-02-28T13:10:00.000-06:00

i’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. i make mistakes, i’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. but if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best."
-marilyn

Old Gold Balls.

2008-02-28T13:09:00.000-06:00

photo love checkout rob mientjes!

There was a time.

When we were so brokenhearted.

Hahahhahahahaha. Did you think we were about to begin to get all Steve-o Tyler there for a second? Didja didja didja? Gotcha. Oh lawd alive our jokes have sure gotten progressively worse with the onset of the winter's encapturing dog days of mole-like buried living....if that's not a sympton of SAD we just don't know what is. 'Cause from what we've heard SAD symptons go like this:

a) bad jokes with little to no punch line telling
b) hair the shade of moldy Christmas fruitcakes
c) eyes the shade of vinegar and/or rotten molasses
d) ass the size of Tangeria
e) personal style similar to potato sack/garbage bag just add boots and/or chapped lips or face.

Well maybe it's SAD or maybe it's just that we is growing older and let's be honest we use wrinkle cream nightly. It's never too early to start and let's just say never say never to lifts, tucks, and little plick-plucks to our face. Sorry earth babies, beauty is pain and we is vain and that's the truth so we will pursue the fountain of youth.

Anyway.

When did you first start realizing you was...aging? You felt...older. Not even in a bad way. Maybe in a good way, like you developed a nice rack in your older years or maybe your figured out how to make your hair swingier and all sexy lionessy. Perhaps you even decided your beer belly was here for keeps, and you that made you more easygoing which made you more likeable and the ladies loved you for it, LL Cool Jay. And before you knew it, your sex life improved and suddenly you weren't taking your frustrations out on the intramural volleyball court any more! See? Old can be gold.

Recently we realized we were old balls when we kept hearing ourselves say the following phrases to our favorite mini-people children beans that we hang out with from time to time:

*Make sure you use your time wisely!
*I'm not asking you, I'm TELLING you!
*Take "can't" out of your vocabulary.

And a part of us was like really? Wtf. Really? You wanna give these midgelings a shout of advice? You think you're an insta-Captain Miss America? And so but then we realized half of us is peanut-butter-jelly-rub-my-belly-jump-on-the-bed-mischief-keeper-candy-eater-dancin'-
spazzo-flowerchild. And the other half must just be a gotta-be-good-and-believe- good-live-good-be-your-best-fill-your-nest-with-friendship-and-love-we-are-an-old-lady mama-in-training-just-waiting-to-exhale-that-the-kids-are-safe-and-happy. OMG.

Old balls. Maybe we'll change our name to Eugenie, go play some Bingo, buy an old lamborghini and drive around waving, with our best friend Mimi (aka Jude).

*f

Wake and Bake It.

2008-02-28T13:07:00.000-06:00

We're paraphrasing here.

But a couple days or so ago, our coffee cup had a Robert Randolph quote that said something to the effect of:

Everyday when I get up, I want to know that my family and friends know what I'm all about and what it is I believe in.

Simply put, sweetly said. Love that mindset. And it reminded us to keep ours intact as well. It's so difficult to believe in an idealistic point of view, probably even harder to actually live it. But it's something we hope to hold onto. Ours is something to the effect of :

Be as fuggin' genuine as you can, in every situation. With every person. "Waste" every second and all of your energy on showing that genuity. To your friends. To a stranger. To a frenemy.

What's your everyday wake and bake motto?

Ode To My Fran

2008-02-28T11:38:00.000-06:00

There are those people who make life fun.
There are those people,
those few sweet people,
who dream big with you,
fight little with you,
and make every day more interesting.

They make you giggle in the middle of a board meeting,
just thinking about that one joke
they told you two weeks ago.

They bring you hip magazines
when you least expect it but most need a writing boost.
They make you laugh when you want to cry,
they send you love letters in the mail
on a random Tuesday in December,
and they whisper through movies with you.

They decided anarchy is the new black.
All they want to be is a modern day Marie.
And they love you no matter what you think,
how you look
or whose music you're into.

Modern Day Marie

2008-02-28T10:49:00.003-06:00

teen vogue, compliments of the divine ali loves curtis

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”

-Tom Robbins (oh how we heart him)

2 Cents Thursday

2008-02-28T10:42:00.004-06:00

art love

Make art today. Tell a story, paint a picture, copy a poem in a pretty way. We are getting so much inspiration from so many places today. (Click on image to make bigger).

Thanks Be To Oprah

2008-02-28T09:54:00.010-06:00

photo love

"While pursuing a course of action apparently wholeheartedly, I had changed behind my own back".

~Anne Truitt

We came across this little gem on Miz Harrison's playland of a Website. And we feel it. We know it. Sometimes it feels like it's all we know. We think we absolutely want something, and then we don't. With the snap of a finger, the sip of a latte, the last note of a song. We don't want it anymore. We're on to something new, the next thing to want and wish for and hope for and look forward to. Every day we keep changing (isn't that a song lyric from the '80s?). We keep morphing into the person we are still becoming (cheesy but true, daphodils). And we wonder when we'll land on our feet, on solid, understandable ground. On safe pavement. And maybe we never will. Maybe we'll always be hoping for something and wondering about what could be and what we'll do tomorrow and which drink special will tickle our fancy tonight.

But then we thinks... OkaAayayyYYY. We are READY. Bring. It. ON!! Because we are read' to go, snap peas. This bean is willing and able and scrappy enough to take it all on. Life is quite the merry-go-round ball of infinite blessings and crap, and though we may wonder 'til the cows come mooing on home, we are a-o-flippin-k with that. Because we will always change our minds and think new thoughts and backtrack here and there. But we're also always happy to do so, and happy with the lot we've got.

So thank you to us! And you! And the double chocolate hazelnut biscotti we had for breaky this morn. Because if you don't make joy in your life, no one will do it for you.

Here to wondering, cheers to changing our minds, and thanks be to Oprah!*

*j

*We have now written your toast for tonight. Wherever you may go, please order the drink special, grab the open mic and toast the world inside the bar with this dandy of a ditty.

Life Resolution #462

2008-02-28T09:32:00.005-06:00

art love: our girl sabrina

Our sister and I used to collage the world pinks and blue hues and pretty poetry and oceanic magazine images and everything else under the sun and including the sun. It was color exploding in front of our eyes and we tore it out from everywhere, to mish-mash it into being of our liking, on pages in notebooks in our bedrooms.

It's creating. It's that act of creating that feels so good you feel it in your toes and your eyes and the ends of your hair. You feel alive and happy and fulfilled. You feel like it's California warm outside even when it isn't.

“True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.”

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery (author of The Little Prince, which we haven't read since third grade but now totally are dying to)

We don't collage anymore, but we create. We create. Poems and stories and jottings and ideas and anything and everything. Just to create. It's a resolution we want to keep with ourselves forever and then some. Because sometimes it's hard and sometimes the speed of life gets in the way, but we don't want to let it. What a cop out, really, don't you think, moonpies?

Rainbow Brain Daisy Chain Questions Sortta Vain

2008-02-21T17:06:00.004-06:00

dear puppies & bunnies and fam,
it tis frances pimp bitch here, the artist formely known as the mistress to the late heath ledger, and founder of the The Society Club for Chicagoan Gypsies and Wanderers Club.

which, sure you can join if you come bearing a stiff entrance fee or stiff vodka-daisy drink. pick your poison, one more geese in the gander ain't gonna do nuthin.' the rules are 1) we drink club soda 2) hang at the country club in our minds in slutty tennis clawsss 3) eat club sandwiches euro style 4) do not club seals (but we hit da club wit fiddy ya know what we're saying ya know what we're saying. ahhhhh yeah). deez are da rulez.

but the main thing behind this meeting today is...well let us tell you a story. a story that goes like this: today we had no time to write on the thursday edish of f & j. the end. goodbye. we kid we kid! not goodbye just good luck. no but really really really what we is wondering is these things down below. have a parent or guardian give you consent if you is an illegal bitch. and if you is a bastard, well we do apologize on behalf of your slutty parents.

NOW RESPOND PEOPLE. we beg we beg. And we'll waive your entry fee.

a) do you like to read f & j's blog on thursdays
b) would you rather read it daily but let's just say it might not be updated daily but more like when it is we get to it but we promise it would be ultra sexually active in blog terms that is
*) are you not really paying attention you are sort of lazy-eyed and perverted
d) do you eat peanuts and mayonaise daily, if you do gross
3) did you see the lunar eclipse? did you know there's more than 100 moons in our galaxy? isn't galaxy a cool word

loyally,
fran

p.s. respond!

When The Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie.

2008-02-21T17:00:00.002-06:00

when the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine...that's amore.

when the stars make you drool like a pasta fazool...that's amore.

when bloomie's sells gold juicy for less than a franklin....we're in love!!!

*f

L.O.V.E.

2008-02-21T11:58:00.001-06:00

And so, love came to us one afternoon, in the form of Didion (portrait-ed above) and her deary sister Beulah.

Sigh. Swoon. Repeat.

Now go here to adopt one of your own... Pretty please.

Piperlime, We Like You

2008-02-21T11:36:00.000-06:00

photo love

Shoes. Grab 'em when you got to. Hot to trot, all the pretties in this here world, arranged for you by price, style, color, and coming soon, percentage you're likely to love 'em.

Piperlime.com

Changed our life, we tells you.

*J

Oh Happy DaYY

2008-02-21T11:28:00.004-06:00

Okay, we changed our minds. This one is way better, esp. when the kid hits a high note and Whoopie turns around in wide-eyed delight. Yea, baby.

Man, they just don't make movies like they used to. Hooo-wee, this song makes our gosh-darn day.

Field Reports: Balls to the Wall

2008-02-21T11:27:00.001-06:00

photo love

We started a journal. 'Field reports,' we like to call 'em. At first it was intimidating. It had been so long, so many days and months and a year or two thrown in for good measure since we'd let our mind babble onto the page without an edit or a spell-check. Why journal when we should be writing complete sentences, we thought? Ho, ho, what civilization piddles of thoughts these were, it turns out. Because what we forgot in our leanings away from field reporting is the oh-so-lovely freedom of writing thoughts as they pop into our heads, no matter how fragmented or dysfunctional they may be. Knowing no one will see these words but us... ahhh, what sweet reverie.

And really, that is how we should all of our days. No punctuation worries. No transition frets. Just balls to the wall-what the hell is up-and-how are you attitude.
*

If You Wanna Be Somebodayy

2008-02-21T11:19:00.002-06:00

Oh my GOD did we hear this movie when we were wee bits. Lauren before she was Lauren. Whoopie before she was Viewed. Ahh, the cheese, the colors, the sheer momentum of kid movies and hint of showtunes.

Nothing like it, we tell you. And just wait until the 2:03 point in which some hard-core rapping hits the stage about about G-O-D, complete with unbuttoned overalls. Just try not to be inspired.

Sweet Nothings

2008-02-21T11:04:00.000-06:00

We want to make these for all our dearies and all our kinda-sortas and all our strangers. We want to toss them and mail them and give them and leave them in strange public places for people to find and unwrap and have a giggle.

But we want to make them happy thoughts. Love thoughts and funny thoughts and obsessively joyous thoughts that stick with you through the depths of your worst days. Because what is the use of making something if there is no one to enjoy it?

Err, well lookie what we have here. We have us going against the grain of Sir Vonnegut's very thoughts, his very core of ideas that he lectured and sang and loved about for all those years of his life. Vonnegut said we should make art for art's sake. He said we should create for the act of creating, and after we've created we should destroy what we've blossomed up without telling a world-wide soul about it. Because that is what creating is about.

But damn, how could we not share the gem below, compliments of our girl over at Oh Happy Day?

Ali Hill, via Oh Happy Day

Oh well. Maybe we'll ruminate on Kurt's teachings another day, with another dollar. But this one's on making us some pretty-ditty thoughts and asking Kinko's to print 'em off on big old sheets for our friends and our lovers and our strangers, all the world over.

What are you going to create today?

Freeze Tag.

2008-02-21T09:28:00.002-06:00

photo by our dear auntie runaround sue,
(subject: our cousin once removed: fergus)

this cold
is freezing our lips
tingling our lips
freezing our words
mid-air
and freezing our
thoughts
so that we think
perhaps
our brain is frozen
solid
and is working
much more like
an ice cold
melon would
like a little
honeydew
with a few
more cells
than much else
these days.

*f

2008-02-15T14:27:00.000-06:00

Jamie Does.

2008-02-14T15:17:00.005-06:00

And so can you.

We don't actually know who Jamie is. We just found his cover art to be favorable.

But all things aside on your bedside table kids, seriously enjoy your Valentine's Day and bury those relationship issues for at least today. Save them for tomorrow. Or save them for the next time you get drunk. Better yet, mask them forever! Leave them just below the surface, and take 'em out at a completely inappropriate time and place (weddings! office functions! visiting with the grandparents!). Oh, we kid we kid! Be good. Be loving. Be careful, use protection.

crappy happy valentine's day,

Valentastic.

2008-02-14T14:01:00.004-06:00

You're not that Valentine-enthused?
Your heart is broken?
Your cavity is killing you!
You feel shitty.
You stomach hurts.
The dog ate your shorts again.
You got into a fight with your bf or gf, fiancee, hubcap or wifaraner.
You just really really wanna buy a fucking puppy already but the timing is just not right.
Your mom is doing another weird mid-life thing.
You're secretly bored of all the talking heads. Republican. Democrat. Baloney mish mash diarrhea mouth bash blah blah green al gore likeability polls states primaries the election.
You're listless.
You're frustrated again, and guess what? It's sexual.
You can't figure out that last crossword puzzle clue and it's driving you totally bonk.
You're sick of staying IN and PLAYING BOGGLE all the goddam time.
The cold.
The snow.
The seeping ice in your boots and salt marks on your pants!!!!!!!

THEN
TURN
THIS
SONG
UP.

And get happy with Will.i.am's Jackson 5-ish "Fantastic." It'll make ya feel groovy, no time flat. Don't worry (be happy) winter is almost over. Get laid.

*f

Just 'Cause.

2008-02-14T12:55:00.001-06:00

art love

ad astra per aspera: to the stars, with difficulty.

'Cause isn't that just beautiful?!
'Cause 3 million Kansans can't be wrong.
'Cause we are half Kansan by blood, high school team spirit, and collegiate investments.
'Cause in 1859, the reputable orator, scholar, lawyer, and Secretary of Senate John James Ingalls (known for his sarcasm and wit) believed that Kansas could "aspire to reach the unattainable, and that its dream is the realization of the impossible."
'Cause the motto refers not only to the pioneering spirit of the early settlers, but also the difficult times Kansas went through before becoming a state. The anti-slavery forces and slavery proponents waged battles in the electoral process as well as on the battlefield. Kansas earned the nickname “Bloody Kansas” because of the war regarding slavery, much of which was fought on Kansas' soil.
'Cause the idea represented by the motto itself is very old and occurs frequently in classical poetry, in German set phrases and quotations, and in feudal mottoes of the European nobility.
'Cause we fuckin' love Kansas and what it means to be a Kansan. Especially a Lawrence, Kansan

happy valentine's day kansas, we love you.

*f

Dabble, Dabble

2008-02-14T12:29:00.001-06:00

product love, via refinery29

Oh, the quote. Oh, the design. Ohh, the loveliness.

Citrus, vanilla, dabble dabble, and sigh. Heaven sent. Er, scent.

Never forget how far
a little scent
and a lot of dreams
will take you.

*j

A Brand New Da-ee-ayyy!

2008-02-14T12:28:00.001-06:00

art love, via ali loves curtis

It's good to have dreams. We, at least, need something to strive for, to keep us going. Yes, waking up knowing we're loved and that we have others to love does make us feel all warm inside and out. But beyond that, on a micromanagement day-to-day level, it gives us an extra sparkly oomph to have goals. Maybe they're realistic, maybe they're less-than. But either we have 'em and we have 'em in spades...

So let's go traveling, and not worry about a dime.
Let's go rafting, and not worry about an accident.
Let's explore somewhere new
and let's write something true.

What are your dreams, pumpkin pies?

*j

I'M NOT GONNA WRITE YOU A LOVE SONG.

2008-02-14T12:09:00.002-06:00

We. Fucking. Love. This. Song.

Thank you Sara, for making an un-love song. You're a fox, by the way. And as syrupy candy coated strawberry waffles lovey dovey truffles and roses we are....this is just more...reasonable. And more...realistic. And uh, it's probable that we can all relate to this ditty somewhere along the line. Like ahem, for instance our record shows 1 boyfriend who said they're were "not enough" photos of him up in our apartment and told us to hang more up? Eww. And also 1 boyfriend who literally told us it "wouldn't hurt" if we went tanning or perhaps even got our hair highlighted. Not even joking. Aww, love and memories mistakes and breakups. They get funnier all the time, with time.

*f

Drink Yo' Haterade

2008-02-14T12:08:00.000-06:00

product love

Um, is anyone else in love with this dandy device?

2 Cents Thursday

2008-02-14T11:49:00.006-06:00

photo love

“Be brave.

Take risks.

nothing can substitute experience.”
-Paulo Coelho

Sigh. We love this man.

A Shoe Full of Joy

2008-02-14T11:44:00.001-06:00

product love

We love us some fancy dandy art

and we love us some colorful fluff

on the bottoms of our toesies.

Well now, we love just about ever old thing

about these fine

walking

works

of art.

Except for the price tag, that is.

*
But today we won't worry,

we won't hurry,

we'll just soak in the arty goodness

that is our life and love.

We love you, bacqbes.
*