We Heart Baking Soda.

Why do we heart baking soda, you ask?
Or maybe you really thinking, how do I get my
grubby little hands on one of those delicious
looking cupcake cones? Well, for starters, you can't .
It's just a picture, numskull. But you could try to
make them. Using baking soda and other stuff.
But look what else baking soda can do before
you start making huge chocolatey confectionary
confections and gobbling them down like the greedy
little goblin hobbit you are.

BAKING SODA CAN! (do all these things):

*In your dishwasher it deodorizes and cleans inside.
*As a paste it cleans smudges on wall paper and shines porcelain, jewelry and coins.
*On bee stings it lessons the pain and it’s an emollient for softer, smoother skin.
*For pets use 2 tablespoons in bathwater as shampoo. In cold weather use in powder form as a dry shampoo. Either way it adds softness and luster to their coat. Sprinkle it on carpeting to remove pet odors too.
*Make a paste to clean silver, add lemon juice to clean copper pots.
*Put it in water to make an antacid for indigestion.
*Its deodorizing ability in powder form is also legendary for your car and in smelly sneakers.
*Got a clogged drain? Mix one cup of baking soda with a cup of salt and a cup of vinegar; pour it in your drain *followed by boiling water.
*Three-parts baking soda in one-part water foams away acid build up on battery terminals.
*Trouble getting on rubber gloves? Just sprinkle in some baking soda and they’ll slip right on.

-f

Piperlime, We Like You

photo love

Shoes. Grab 'em when you got to. Hot to trot, all the pretties in this here world, arranged for you by price, style, color, and coming soon, percentage you're likely to love 'em.

Piperlime.com

Changed our life, we tells you.


*J

Gotta Move

Remember those old-school cartoons where you could almost see the individual strokes being drawn for each character's clothes, hair, expressions? Remember the excitement of watching a Scooby Doo you hadn't seen, and being absorbed in almost-breathlessness to see what would happen, who would get caught, how they'd catch the dirty rotten thief?

We do. And this vid brings to mind those days of old. The Budos Band brings a swingin' tune that makes you want to get things done, start 'em up and keep on revvin' until you've passed go and collected oodles of goodness along the way. No vocals, just a fab jam up of all things we love about the music that rocks our souls.

So play it when you gotta get moving. Play it when you have a deadline to make. Play it when you need a motivating boosting bit of happy sporadic nomadic energy.

Just play it, pretties.

*j

Shhhhh...!

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These handy-dandy little cards are classy, understated, and pack a helluva punch. Because sometimes, people should just shut the front door.

Heh, heh.

*j

2 Cents Thursday

our dream girl.



our dreamboat.



our dream us.


Who are we, if not our style?


*j

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Muse Because You CaNnnn

art love, via Red Aprons

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What? We could...

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*j

A Halo of Humidifiers For All!

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It is so unbelievably, wretchedly, endlessly dry in our world this week, our only wish last night as every sip of water was making us suspiciously more thirsty, was to have a halo of humidifiers built for us so we could breathe easy everywhere we went. We would never take it off, not until the first day of true blue spring when we would once again have magically luscious skin, flowing hair and no more stuffed up heads.

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And that, lovely cherry pies, is our wish for the day, if we could have only one. What would yours be? Free cab rides for a year? Unlimited hot dogs for a month? Lots of money? Do tell, do tell.

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*j

Blackle: Ze New Google

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Check it, dearies. Blackle is the same yummy search engine as Google, only it's all black and green as can green can be. Hmmm... would anyone digg F&J with a blackity-black background???


*j

You Tell 'Em, Fancy Nancy

book love

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No one knows class like Nancy Drew.

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*j

Winter Decor. Not a Snore. Or a Chore.

Snooze. Alarm. Hit Snooze again.

Sleep in this weekend. Wear your slippers. Pop in a porn. Just joking! As we are not endorsers of smut. Of course we will not judge you, if you and your honey are in a rut. Moving on though, as those matters are private and delicate. All we are trying to say is, maybe your laundry room could use an alteration? Your cat peed on the bathroom rug (again). Your furniture is collecting dust and looks like it could actually use...a hug. The snowflake-ish stucco on your living room walls kinda just reminds you that it's ten below. And you've been meaning to toss out that turkey soup and also wash the first round of damp winter clothing. But you've been busy. Your social life needs attention too, you know.

With that in mind, slap on a decal. Visit Les Invasions Ephémères, and checkout their 'Marie Antoinette' collection. Then, to reactivate spice in your non-Spice Girl-ish winter life:

1) Pull out your little blue feather duster.
2) Put on your very best French maid attire and be the best French-lady-decorator-girl you can muster.
3) Just remember to clean sparingly, decorate lightly, and bunny hop back into bed.
4) And sip on champagne, kiss, cuddle, and uh, mend.

*f

There Must Be Some Toros in the Atmosphere

Our wintery morn commute involves two buses and a small but sufficient amount of trekking through the snow, no sleigh handy anywhere (though we continue to look for that shimmer of a sleigh and listen for those tinkling of bells). Us being the smarty bunny we are, we thought ahead for this blustery season that is now upon us. 'Ho, ho! No problem here! We'll just don our pretty rain boots in darling hunter green, and frolick in the snow all we please!' (This is, in fact, how we speak to ourselves. Sometimes aloud, sometimes in soft whispers and sometimes in our head. But regardless, most sentences to ourselves do begin with a 'Ho, ho!' and continue with lots of exclamation points. Because really dearies, that is the only way to live.)
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Ahem. Except for one humble pie of a hiccup - rain boots are not cold-proof. Yes indeedy, they keep out the cold wetness that is melted slushy snow. But. But. They do not keep your toes toasty or your feet feeling wintery warm.

And so. We need some wintery warm boots. And, deary crumpets, if we could have our pick of well-made, snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug winter boots, we would choose one of these pretties. The gems above is so very 1960's, Dylan's The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan cover, while the pair below are so very chestnuts-roasting, Gap Ad golden delicious.


How do you keep warm through the holidays, moppets? Besides a hot toddy here and there and everywhere, that is.


*j

Poodles, Moppets & Pretty in Pink

art love

Meet Elloh. Elloh makes pretty ditty pictures based mostly on pop culture mavens and mavericks and some inbetween. When Elloh was little, she wanted to work for National Geographic. And although that hasn't happened, she did get to meet Mr. Rogers, and who doesn't love that little crabapple of a poodle's mother?

So here's to doing what you please,

and cheers to cubicle escapism.

Now go paint us a pretty picture, moonpies. Because a giggle a day keeps the wolves at bay...

*j

Tipster Trick o' the Day

Oh lordy, we found the coolest thing since After-School Specials. Stitch Witchery will save your life, every day of it. No need for sewing, just iron whatever the whatsits you desire to inspire. Need your jeans hemmed? Witch it up. Eying gram's caftan for your new curtains? Measure, cut & witch it, yo.

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Congratulations. You now have the necessary tools to conquer the world. Go get 'em sallies.

*j

Invention of the Morn

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If we could invent one thing, today it would be to make yummy-tasting coffee that hydrated you instead of dehydrating you the hell inside and out.

*j

Colorfully Cherubic Lesson of the Day

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...even when it's hard, poppits.

*j

It's That Time Again.

Don't eat the yellow snow, y'all.

*f

A Dollop of Trollops

Oh, my. Oh, dearies. We simply do not know what to say about these photos. But we'll do our bestest.

In this edition of October 31 Halloween Extravaganza Madness, we bring you the famous, the infamous and the tabloid hos. Ohhh, boy, oh boy. This, our friends and friendly foes, is what you call perspective. And it begs the inevitable question, what is fame?

photo love, via VSL

The obvious answer, deary darling photo mavens, is that fame is us. With better hair and makeup. Fame is Larry King in an old lady getup. Fame is Bennifer getting old and fat and happy. So enjoy, feel good about yourself, and please be sure to check out the pic of JLo in a tracksuit. Priceless, we tell you, absofuckinglutely priceless.

*j

Manic Monday Relief: The 411

cartoon love

In life, there are often questions that arise for which you simply cannot summon the initiative to answer. As our darling Margot succinctly noted, "I couldn't even begin to think about knowing how to answer that question." Cheers, Margot darling, cheers.

Alas, there enters a saving grace - and a free one at that. Our favorite little search engine Google now has a 411 hotline, and it doesn't want any of your dirty money, just your ponderings and predicaments.

So the next time you wonder any (or perhaps all) of the following...

1. What's the temperature this fine morning?

2. Should I wash my hair today?
3. What's the difference between 'plot' and 'narrative'?

4. Is he cute, or am I drunk?

... you know just who to ring: 1 800 GOOG 411. Call it, dearies.

*j

Thursday Tip #647

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When donning your cape, always keep out of vacuuming distance from Mom (or Howster).

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*j

A Change Will Do Us (and You) Good

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(Yes, dearies, our eyes would be closed too)

An Open Letter to the Owners of Hooters:

Ya know joe, change is good, it really-willy-nilly is. A new job, a new book, a new outfit. Whatever it is, it's good to keep movin' on up, to keep on keepin' on. Try that new dress/boyfriend/job on and if the shoe doesn't fit, move it on and move it up. And if the shoe does fit, wear it awhile and then change it up again. Because it's FUN. So yes, dearies-clearies, we here at F&J believe a change (whether it's to us or you) will do us good. We believe it's not only good but also necessary in order to keep a smile on our faces and content in our heart. So yes, sometimes we need a change. And honeys, we're not the only ones.

As our darling friend Blondie (not Fran) pointed out, one case of the "Change Neglect" crisis going on is, indeed, your Hooters uniform monstrosity. Oh yes. Oh my.

Since the birth of your fine establishment in Clearwater, FL, over twenty years ago, your phenomenally un-phenomenal chain (sorry, but it's true. Unless you do what we ask in the following paragraph!) has spawned 435 restaurants and who knows how many white scrunchy socks, opaque faux-tan leggings and vomit-orange Spandex hot pants. Also, faux boobs.

And all this was fiiine and dandy, in the eighties. But lads and lasses, it is now 2007 and you are planning to open one of your fine dining hotspots in Dubai, and come on already, kids - update the wardrobes!!!

Maybe it's because we really do like your wings and really would like to confidently walk into a Hooters to grab some wings, a beer and yes, have bosomy women serving us, without flinching upon seeing said bosomy women in their hideous kinky getups. Whatever the reason, update the damn wardrobes. Seriously. Your stock would go through the roof. And ya know, if all else fails in board meeting debates over this, at least -- at the very least -- please retire the scrunchy socks.

Sincerely and yours forever (unless you don't take our advice),
xoxo,
*j