Are You a Chad?
We've all frequented a beer-soaked frat party. Been propped at a 90 degree angle (Thanks Ms. Baumgartner, sophomore Geometry) for a sweet keg stand. And have woken up The Morning After, wondering who is this person next to me? And what the f#$% is their name?? Yes, yes. We remember those days...sort of.
But only a few of us have the ability. The perseverance. The genetic makeup. To push through the boundary waters of partying way too long and taking the tenth victory lap around the college campus. And becoming a Chad.
A Chad knows no limits, has no shame. A Chad has a beer tower on his kitchen table. Every weekend. Well into his thirties. The Chad from college who once could be heard exclaiming his bedroom quests 'with seriously every freshman hottie from the Pi Fee Ho house,' can now be heard exclaiming that he 'totally makes six figures and is on his way up to the top. THE TOP!!' at his sales job downtown. We know Chad, we know. You are hot. Keep rockin' the hair gel and tanning salon, it is so working for you in 'I'm from Staten Island' sortta way.
But without getting too down on the Chads (because let's be honest, one of them is your cousin Riley, your brother Phil, or your ex, Franky), we thought perhaps we should do a Big Loser Check on ourselves. We heard on the radio this morning a 'Are You a Big Loser' checklist. So, we self-checked and then added a few to the list. It um, opened our eyes to some uh, not-so-cool uh, habits (Whatever!!! Lord of The Rings totally defined our college years!!).
Are You a Loser
1) Do you alphabetize or color code your cds/books/magazines
2) Do you own a beanbag chair
3) Do you have a 'Members Only' jacket
4) Do you own a rare coin collection
5) Do you send ecards
6) Did LOTR define your college years
7) Did you ever paint figurines as a hobby
8) Do you draw your own cartoons
9) Do you cut the crust off your PB & J's
10) Do you listen to Celine Dion a lot or even a little
11) Have you ever dressed in costume to attend a movie/book event
(CLARIFICATION SO AS NOT TO OFFEND: We have a color coded book selection. An alphabetized cd collection. A beanbag chair. We draw cartoons...daily. Dress in costume for book events. And are kinda...notorious for sending ecards and reg cards. True, true.)