This Is About.

It's a digital age, man. So to you we present our virtual talk show of Nonsense: The Silly. The Beautiful. The True. In our own words or those quoted by others. With our own art or that created by others. We will laugh. We will smile. We will entertain you all the while. So grab a drink, come in and let's chat. We'd like to meet you, your mama, and your hot cousin Fred.
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11.28.2007

Fever Pitch.


love you Banksy, no shit.

fever pitch
(n.): a high degree of excitement, as of a gathering of people: The announcement of victory brought the crowd to fever pitch.

So, in the nonsensical world of F & J, Wednesdays are Fridays and Fridays are Rodeo Days and we are the Rodeo Clown Cowgirls so take a left at that right and Right Said Fred will wave you on through, cupcake in hand telling you that you are in fact too sexy and from there will guide you to our very Seussical planet. Or the moon. Feast your fancy, tickle your funny bone, beast your burden. Which brings us to the point. Let's talk about baseball.

Because it's almost half past ninety on the solar eclipse chart of the winter's rise over the Everglades. So blah blah blah everyone is talking about foosball, this time of year. But for just a second let's pause. Deedahdoodahdeedahdoo. Okay. Now ask yourself this what would they play over the intercom, if you were up to bat, hitting for your favorite baseball team? What would you choose to convey your Einsteinian intellect? Your Edwardian take on things? Your Gatsbyesque flourish and overall edge? Our picks were chosen somewhere between the 5th and 6th inning at a White Sox game this past summer. We just forgot to write about it, until uh, the winter (lay off! we were busy!).

THIS IS VERBATIM:

Howe: Well... I'd choose Seven Nation Army. White Stripes. Suspiciously enough, Howe made a quick and stellar choice when this question arose. Causing the others in the crowd to wonder if this character Howe had in fact thought about this very whatif situation prior to this conversation. Hmmm. How curious.

Jude: Oh yeah. Good one. Well um, I don't think I'd actually want to play baseball. Objections from crowd arose immediately: i.e. Just pick one! and That wasn't the question! and Just pretend Jude!!!! Okay...uh, The Strokes then. Probably You Only Live Once. Or Last Nite. Maybe even Someday?

Fran: Oh good one. Very Sofia's Marie soundtrack-ish. I would totally have to go with one of my all time fav classic bands. The Stones. Either Beast of Burden. Or Paint It Black. Maybe Miss You...can I pick a few ? Or maybe a Jackson 5 song. ABC?

Big Baby: OMG! You guys are terrible at this. Mine is I'm a Beast, Lil' Wayne.

So there ya go. Those were ours. As well as our darling burrito boy Pede's (Book of the Month, Lovage) and dear old brother Dre's (Dixieland Delight, Alabama). What would you choose, Babe Ruth? Pick somethin', Hank Aaron. Quit lolligaggin', A-Rod. And lay of the 'roids, Barry Bonds.

*f

7 comments:

*a said...

we had this very same conversation this summer whilst at a rockies game.
my fave rockies player is the cutie pie kazuo matsui but mostly because i liked his batting song the best. too bad i can't remember what it was.

i think i'll choose sexy back for my song....or crazy in love by beyonce. because baseball is both sexy and i'm crazy in love with it.
the end.

Howard said...

Of course I have had that discussion before... I have been to a few ballgames in my day. fran, you sure you wouldn't pick the Star Wars theme song. Nah, people probably won't recognize it.

judithe & francine said...

Ohh, snap, Howie-How-Howard! Fran, you gonna bite back? I say it's time to brawl. 5 o'clock. Outside The Max. Being yo' brass knuckles. I'll bring Chewbacca.
*j

judithe & francine said...

*a, I can picture you swaggering onto the diamond to no other song but Sexy Back. I just can't.
*j

Anonymous said...

chris cross'll make ya jumpjump cross chris'll make ya jumpjump daddy mac'll make ya jump jump
mac daddy make ya jump jump!!!!!!

-hales

ben said...

It's funny, I actually think that this is just about the only question that I could answer with "a Gary Glitter song!" and it would be completely pedestrian and cliche. Odd. Anywhoo "La Breeze" by Simian for me. After that, I would proceed to play football against everyone on the opposing baseball team.
Star Wars is the robot movie, right?

judithe & francine said...

real funny guys. real funny, ya clowns. maybe i will change my answer and pick a star wars theme. cause it's like one of my favorite animated cowboy wild wild west movies of all time. plus i love country music.

you suckers

*f