Ask Fran.

dear awkward alice,

i'm glad you asked. first, let me tell you a few things about myself. i am fran, queen of advice giving. yet i am neither futuristically gifted from above, nor presently gifted with making decisions below.
actually, quite the opposite.

i am queen of messy breakups that seemingly never end. queen of bumping cars and overindulging in bars. queen of nothing that is ever certain, in fact- i truly believe that the more you live, the less you know.

but with that being said let me tell you another thing. i make my decisions like the breeze hits the wind. she finds it, they float by, and they never rethink it again. because at the end of the day, you just gotta do what floats your boat and not give a rat, sheep, or goat's ass what frank, sally, larry, or jerry has to say about it.

so ultimately i say, go out drinking all night long. go to mexico for a week, with a guy named john. that you just met on a plane, coming back from atlanta. where you stayed with your boyfriend who sucks and drinks fanta. elope to vegas. go to jail once or twice. eat cupcakes after sex. try to find a pot of gold. when that doesn't work, come visit me and do what you're told.

insert a dollar here, i'll give you my two cents.

kapeesh?

-fran