This Is About.

It's a digital age, man. So to you we present our virtual talk show of Nonsense: The Silly. The Beautiful. The True. In our own words or those quoted by others. With our own art or that created by others. We will laugh. We will smile. We will entertain you all the while. So grab a drink, come in and let's chat. We'd like to meet you, your mama, and your hot cousin Fred.
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5.13.2008

Ask Fran.

Anonymous Annie said:


Dear Fran,



Sometimes I feel like it's Funky Friday but then I realize it's Monday or even Wednesday mid-afternoon. What do I do about the fact that I don't like my job, miss my friends and eat shit like it's good for me and isn't actually accumulating on my hips?


Dear Anonymous Annie,

I thought it over really long and hard for a second and I think I’ve solved it. Samantha, I really think you should stop eating shit. I truly believe you will make more friends if you stop your repulsive behavior. Your breath must smell horrendous. Miranda, your shit does in fact stink. Because other than that, you sound really exciting!!! You have great enthusiasm (i.e. “Funky Friday”). Another question for you, Marlena. You signed off as “Anonymous” which led me to wonder something….do your friends even know that you miss them? You have to stop calling them and hanging up! That’s creepy and so 90’s “Scream” the movie. Furthermore stop calling them and being like “Hey Lulu, it’s Virginia, how are you?” just because you want to remain “Anonymous.” Lulu has no idea who the eff Virginia is, and I just really think it’s time for you to reveal yourself, Jessica. Also, quit the job. If you don’t like it, don’t let that be the one thing dictating your life. Or your overall happiness.

-fran



5 comments:

*a said...

do you knwo what is making me giggley and glad about your "ask fran" column?? i'll tell ya......


the lovely, little (honest to god she can't be more than 5ft) lady i "go and see" is named fran. and she helps me solve all of life's hiccups and headbonks. and i.love.her.

and sometimes when i'm wondering what to do, i imagine old franpants sitting on my shoulder and i think...what would fran do?

but now i can have 2 "franpants" on my shoulders...one on each side. it'll be great!

judithe & francine said...

*a-girl,
i have heard about your wonderful fran. i hope to meet her and be like her some day. only bigger and less old. but still wise and nice. the only question i have is, is it ok to dish it but not actually take it? that is sortta more my style. spose i have much more to learn from your fran!

love ya-
fran

*a said...

it's perfectly a.o.k. in my book to dish it but not take it!

fran's idea is for everyone to sorta learn for themselves how to be their own fran...

so pretty much...yer one up on all of us. hehhee!

lauren h. said...

Virginia,
A random memory for your remembering pleasure:
Dusty helping you and me frantically memorize the little letters on the eye exam chart so that we could pass drivers ed....oh kids.
This made me chuckle tonight.
Lurv,
Lulu

judithe & francine said...

Oh luda.

how you make me laff and laff and laff. totally forgot dusty being in our class. he was in our art class too, remember how he'd get weirdly mad at us? and we were like...wait, he's kidding...right? oh, memories. you know what also makes me laugh? our hundreds of crushes and never or barely talking to a single one of them. cookies?

xxoxo fran