Ask Fran.

Stinkbomb in Seattle said:

I work a corp. job, and I sit in a quad of cubicles with only men. 3 against 1 is something I hear more as an adult then I did when I was 10 (and trust me that is a lot). Anyway, the question is regarding farts and lots of them! Some or all of them fart all day long and every single time I say “Eeewwwwweee who farted!” and every single time they all act like they:

1) can't smell it and
2) that it wasn't them ("I can smell it, but it wasn't me!")

What should I do? Please don't suggest that I start letting them rip because I won't do that!

-Stinkbomb in Seattle

Dear Stinkbomb,

My first instinct was to say 1) whoopee cushions 2) nose plugs or 3) bean burritos every day, for a week. But alas, I shall respect your reluctance to be the Pepe le Pew girl.

Instead, what I suggest doing is bringing in all the scents, room fresheners, candles, home fragrances, and perfumes you can find- and turn your cubicle into a veritable Bath & Body Works. It will a) ward them off for fear of becoming ensconced with a perma-Country Apple or Sun-Ripened Raspberry scent b) ward off the stinky c) embolden you to follow all your other pursuits; be it lunchtime wine chugging, beer bottle and whiskey guzzling or good ‘ol fashioned desktop dancin’ and shake your ass puzzling.

However: if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

-fran