When In Doubt, Consult The Balls
When we were little, we would shakity-shack the shit out of our sister's 8-ball and pray that Jake Brandt would ask us to play tetherball with him.
He never did, we got braces (twice) and fast forward 15 years and where the funk is that 8-ball? We need to know what to do where to go who to see, and we need to know now. Top 5 things we would ask the 8-Ball if given the chance right this second:
1. Will life get easier?
2. Are our friends happy? Are our friends happy with us?*
3. Will we ever start thinking for ourselves and stop asking the powers that be to determine our future?
4. Is there any money in goat-herding?
5. Where is the nearest hot dog stand from where we are sitting at work?
*We are allowed to cheat because we were the youngest child of four growing up.