Ketchup & Mustard with a Side of The Truth
We here at The Frances & Judy Show would like to take a minute or two, to give much respect due to The Truth. We heed the advice of our dear baby brother- whom frequently uses the phrase 'Don't Get It Twisted.' And until now, we truly had no idea what that meant. We had only heard it in rap songs. And to be honest we are just not very rap-savvy. Or rap-afficionado-y. We are much more geek-chic. But now we get it. And we feel we are one with Mr.Capone-E and 2Pac, for that matter.
So anywayz, we have this cousin that lives somewhere on the eastern seaboard of the Estados Unidos. Her name is Katie Rosalita. She is a very beautiful starcodfish model lady (she is of Spanish descent, very exotic). Not only is she a stunning looker, she is a multifaceted brain wizard of creativity, depth, and smarties (can you tell she is one of our most beloved?) and she's also getting married this coming spring (can we get a hellll yeahhh raise the muthatruckin' rooffff). Tangent. Well, anywayz just recently K.R. sent us a string of fabulous emails. And in a snippet of one of these emails was the sentence 'I live vicariously through you and Jude.'
And we thought, you know what? Let's set the record straight here. We don't want to be known as the 'I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman' sort of gals. The Nixons of Watergate. That is not our political agenda nor it is in tune with our belief in proper civic duty or sexual health. Because while it is true that we are fun, funky, fresh, fiesty, fiery, falafel-lovers (pat pat pattin' our own backs as ush). So are you Katie Rose. And so are you Patrashbag, Hales, *a, Co, Care, Andrea, Panda, Libho, Ewop, Sweetie, Pede, Auntie L, Hannah, Howe, Mo, and all you other pimpass pimps and bitches. And we just want you that we love that about you. And we love you all truly, madly, deeply. And also that yes, we do share a zest for life. A vitality for all things good and sparkly and lovely and pretty. A passion for music, lit, cartoons, art, fashion, friends, life, and love. Gold shoes and puppies. And yes, we love the life we lead. And we lead the life we love.
But yes we also believe in the power of exaggeration. Embellishing. Stretching the truth. Tall tales (believe it or not we are distant relatives to Paul Bunyan- not even kidding). And we just wanted to let you in on a little secret. Just between you and us. And that is that we all share in this Pure Fabulousity together. Because here are a few things to know about Miss F & J:
*If we really ate THAT many cupcakes and hot dogs we would be the fattest muthatruckers alive
*If we really drank THAT much champagne & red vines we would be the drunkest muthatruckers alive
*If we really spent THAT much lunch money on beautiful clothing on we would be the poorest muthatruckers alive
*If we really partied THAT much we would be the dumbest Paris Hilton muthatruckers alive
*If we really used THAT much rhyme-y googoo gaga language in daily life we would be the strangest outcast muthatruckers alive
Soooo we just thought hey let's be fair. Time to clear the muthtruckin' air. Get it untwisted with you and play some Truth or Dare. And we just picked Truth. And we came pretty clean. But that don't mean we aren't gonna chomp on some cupcakes still and jump in limosines. Some stretch limosines (with the muthatruckin' Spice Girls). At least in our dreams. And daily imaginings. Which is what this really is. Just some F & J figments. Some fancy little figs. Ya heard, ya get, ya digs?
*f & j